Big T takes on Mightmove and the Shard

I can only hope that a few of you felt, after last week’s initial diatribe, that you would like to join me in my ramblings through the trees of the property wood once again, after so long a break.

The problem was, of course, that my request for comments on that particular point could not be actioned by you, dear readers, because our blessed editrix failed to set the site up for comments (possibly to protect me, I realise!), but I shall chainsaw on regardless with volume ii!

Sadly, though, I have found that age has a deleterious effect on my ability to separate wood from tree these days.

Thus I must again warn you that this lumberjack’s chopper is not what it was, and I think my column might well be directed more at life in general rather than estate agency in particular, as articles progress.

Having said that, I will own up to having written a couple of emails recently to the delectable Cap’n Shipside, who pilots the good ship Mightmove through waters rough and smooth with equal aplomb.

The imminent docking of OnTheParquet must be focusing his mind, and I’ve no doubt the rum ration has been seriously curtailed for all his matelots at Turnberry House whilst all hands are on deck to repel boarders.

In my aforementioned emails to him I asked a couple of questions. The first was why THEY choose to SELECT which properties are sent to home seekers – our applicants.

You will find that if more than a certain number of new listings appropriate to an applicant’s registered requirement parameters arrive from we feeder agents to Mightmove at the same time, Mightmove will only send their own ‘selection’ of the homes to applicants.

Thus we agents will find that, on a busy instructions day for Mightmove, THEY are actually choosing whether our properties are circulated or not. If not, then that’s very bad news for us and our vendor clients and, quite frankly, unacceptable.

And, by the way, if you Google ‘Rightmove Head Office’ you will find in the box on the right of the screen that they are listed as ‘Estate Agents’! Salt and wounds?

You’ll have to wait for my second question to the Cap’n, as he hasn’t chosen to chosen to reply as yet, so I will give him a little more time – shall we say Six Bells next Wednesday?

As the lads in my tiny single branch non-high street agency positively encourage me to absent myself as often as possible these days, I find I have more time on my hands than I have ever known in 45 years of workaholic abuse.

I have suddenly discovered that long weekends off exist, but have found myself totally ill-equipped mentally to know what to do with this newly-found phenomenon – leisure! I didn’t even make the full two weeks for my honeymoon, and was back in the office by day ten – mind you, the Test Match had finished on the Tuesday, so what else was there to do?

Sight-seeing (very different to site-seeing, I have recently learnt) was suggested by the current lady-girlfriend, so I was persuaded to meet her in London as she had promised to take me up The Shard.

The lift coped well with the strain, unlike the time in 1990 when I took a 30-strong delegation of NAEA members on a fact-finding tour of the States in my Presidential Year.

We had all piled into a lift to go up the Sears Tower in Chicago when the disembodied lift loudspeaker droned out the announcement ‘Lift overload, one person out please’. Much jocularity followed as the group naturally insisted it should be I who departed.

This laughter was nothing, however, compared to their reaction as I duly stepped out and the announcement rang out again, this time proclaiming – ‘One person would have been sufficient’.

I must accept it is a fine view up that Shard, but whether it’s worth £25 to get there, I’m not so sure.

Heights have never been my most comfortable environment, as I discovered when I had a few flying lessons many, many years ago.

My biggest problem then was fear-provoked overworking in the bladder department (very difficult to open the door of a two-seat Cessna at 2,000 ft at 90 mph, let alone the contortions required once opened).

The same effect sadly overcame me at the Shard but, fortunately, the facilities were more civilised and readily available.

However, yet another speciality TK complaint email was necessary to the management: fancy having a bog with neither curtains nor blinds – appalling! See the picture.

Have a good weekend, and don’t work too hard or you may end up like me.

Cheers for now, Big T.

PS. When I pressed ‘Send’, Ms Spellcheck didn’t like ‘Cap’n’ and offered me ‘Capon’ or ‘Capone’. You choose!

Trevor view

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5 Comments

  1. BigRoyston

    Great to have Big T back and ruffling feathers in his inimitable way – keep it up Trev ! I haven't been taken up the Shard yet but maybe next time I visit Thailand …..

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  2. Robert May

    Hello Trevor, the thing about a good chopper is that the edge might be dull through dormancy but it won't be blunt, a good stropping is often all it needs to re-establish its shaving edge. It is genuinely a delight to have access to one of the most influential, respected and liked figures in the industry and I for one am looking forward to your wit, experience and humour. Sincere regards, Robert.

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  3. Ewan Foreman

    Dear Trevor, Fear not, your article of last week was also well read up here in Scotland and your self-deprecating comments were the source of much hilarity at the Saturday morning breakfast table. For my own part, subject matter that draws on life, the universe and everything is refreshing and welcome. I look forward to following your post workaholic adventures – perhaps a wee bike ride or two?

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  4. Rivero

    Ahh that imposing bohemeth, symbolic of capitalist excess and arrogance, cold and steely and eager to rip-off it's customers at every turn…stil it was nice to hear about the Shard aswell. Welcome back Big T, you certainly have my ears…not literally but you know what I mean

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  5. NewsBoy

    Great to have the old boy back. I'm only sorry that it probably wouldn't be possible to listen to you on a daily basis. Long way your independent spirit continue. Keep up the good work.

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