My failure to columnise last week was entirely due to the latest LGF’s insistence that I take her for a short break to what she so kindly described as my ‘spiritual home’, viz Holmfirth in beautiful West Yorkshire.
Why, you ask, had she ordained this particular place as suitable for my pilgrimage?
Well, some of you of a certain age (not necessarily as advanced as mine) will know this to be the beautiful and both culturally and scenically elevated home of the BBC TV series ‘Last of the Summer Wine’, and thus she deemed it highly appropriate for yours truly.
I always try to mix a little business with my pleasures, so I was delighted when I finally located Sid’s Cafe to find a representative from each of the three popular portals already waiting to start our meeting.
After the inevitable team photograph of the triumvirate suited and booted as they each felt appropriate, with ne’er a wrinkled stocking amongst them, we sat down to discuss the relative USPs of their competing services.
This naturally took the best part of 30 seconds, and so toasted tea cakes were duly ordered.
Sadly, disagreements rapidly followed as OnTheParquet said that if they were to have a cake, then only Mightmove or Hoopla could join them, but not both.
At this, Hoopla suggested that it wasn’t actually a ‘tea cake’ at all, but a Chelsea Bun, thus the rule was unenforceable.
The Mightmove representative was clear that, so long as he could have his cake and eat it, and he could continue to increase the menu pricing every few weeks as well, he didn’t give a … about anyone or anything.
Comments are sought from you, dear reader, as to which of the three portals you believe the three gentlemen pictured below were representing at our meeting at Sid’s last week, and why.
Talking of comments, no one has agreed with my gripe in my last column over First Utility’s efficiencies or otherwise in dealing with final accounts and tenant changes, so I assume it’s me then, not they!
I see Wickerman Estates have been instructed on those seven new homes under construction in Haystack Yard Bristol: 80% straw walls indeed, it’ll be grass roofs next, you mark my words.
I spoke to Wickerman’s sales manager Ms Thatcher yesterday, who claimed that the architects – BaleHaus – had adapted the concept from a well-known German prefabricated building system, and the only real difference was that these homes were delivered from farm by tractor, rather than low-loader from factory.
It was also suggested that the unusual construction adopted for these properties had already been ‘pre-approved’ for mortgage loans with barley any concerns expressed by valuation surveyors out in the field.
Reportedly a second site has already been acquired in Hay on Wye – a very pertinent question indeed, I feel.
And you thought I would conjure up some tragically unfunny story connecting St Valentine to property today – shame on you!
It’s actually Monday 16 I am looking forward to. As you will all know, this is Lithuanian Independence Day, and I always find I get more offers then than on St V’s but, as always, they all tend to crumble on survey shortly after…
Have a nice romantic weekend.